Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
