they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize