i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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