do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
