I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize