sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
