Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
