maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We smell like vodka and hangover
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