Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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