My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
