It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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