Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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