I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize