I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
