Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
