i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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