She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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