Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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