Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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