A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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