We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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