Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
