i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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