My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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