Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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