Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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