I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
