Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
