Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
