Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
