I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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