Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
