...so i touched it.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
