she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
