is your mom at the bar?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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