Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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