We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
