everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
