I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
