I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think I just sharted jello shots
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