Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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