Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
