So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
