you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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