I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
