if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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