oh god the rape fog is back!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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