Welp...herpes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
