I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
