Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
