I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
