i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
