I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
