Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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