I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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