My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize