Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
