my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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