So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
