you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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