just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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