how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
