you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize