I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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